July 30, 2009 at 7:00 am | as seen at http://axiomsedge.wordpress.com/
By Sam Christopher
A little while ago a couple of authors came to this site and posted in our Comments section, taking the opportunity to also advertise their books. At first I thought it was cheesy but then I realized that it was pretty unobtrusive, and that this site is partially here for the purpose of adding to the interest in Science Fiction that all of our staffers and, presumably, our readers share. So I decided to go them a step further and offer them a review of their works, with the idea that (hopefully) more people would read a review than read the comments made in our blog entries. This is the first of those reviews looking at Long Journey to Rneadal by Sharon E. Dreyer. Now, I’ve decided to make these reviews without a rating because the authors are new and I’m assuming are working mostly alone without the benefit of an editor.
First, the positive. This book starts off pretty well. The opening is fairly straightforward and interesting, with an explanation of the Affiliation and Tricanorian Empire (the Tricks, as they are known in everyday Affiliation language) and their relationship and a good introduction to both the crew of the Star Cruiser RELENTLESS and Dr. J.L. Hunter. Some of the sections with the unidentified (at the time) woman having bad dreams are well done and build a sense of suspense that really has the reader wanting to know more. The first meeting between Captain Jake Granger of the RELENTLESS and Dr. Hunter is actually extremely well done and was fun to read as this mysterious woman just boards the ship, does whatever she feels like, and then leaves, all with ship’s security apparently hanging all over her. Sure, some of the dialogue was a little on the clunky side but I used to read critics saying the same thing about Babylon 5, and that was one of the two or three best running science fiction shows ever in my mind. And, speaking of dialogue, later in the book there is quite a bit of discussion between married couples and their close associates and some of that is positively Heinleinian as you read it, especially echoing some of his earlier novels. Also, the ostensible main story, that of Dr. Hunter having to travel to Rneadal (pronounced “Na-dal”, by the way), isn’t bad, either. It’s fairly classic sf, all about royal family obligations and the like, but it’s still not a bad idea if handled correctly.
Before we get to the negatives I’d like to take a brief intermission to say that I never really paid enough attention, I guess, to “Acknowledgements” in books. In there the authors almost invariably thank their editor. It really never occurred to me they were doing anything more than being nice. When it came to writing, I’ve read Isaac Asimov describe how he wrote, and Harlan Ellison write about how he writes all of the time. Asimov said once that he always thought he was the greatest thing ever because he wrote his stories out twice, the second time just to smooth out kinks he found in the first draft and correct spelling, until he boasted of that to Robert Heinlein, who, according to Asimov, wondered why Asimov couldn’t just get it right the first time. The point is, having never had anything published, it didn’t occur to me how valuable a good editor could be until I read this book.
So, now to the negatives. Whereas the aforementioned nightmare sequences are effective early on, there are entirely too many of them; they just wear the reader down after awhile. That, plus the fact there are no chapter breaks (plus something else we’ll get to in the next paragraph) just, as I said, wears the reader down over time. And then there’s the reason for the trip to Rneadal: it’s never really fleshed out why everyone around Dr. Hunter feels it’s so imperative she go. I understand why she thinks she needs to go, and I can make the leap as to why it’s so ingrained in her that she must, even though logically there is no reason she should feel so strongly about it. More, the action itself on Rneadal feels too short and vague and kind of lame for the amount of time it takes the reader to get there. It almost seems like the author spent so much energy on building up to the trip and its consequences that by the time the main event arrived she had nothing left to give.
But the real problem with the novel, to my mind, is that the author fell in love with the character of Dr. Jessica Layne Hunter. Jessi can simply do no wrong, other than push herself to work too hard. She’s telepathic, telekinetic, can tame any animal on sight, can tame any child on sight (a much harder feat from what I’ve seen). At the age of eight (or thereabouts) she was foiling Trick plans in the war between the Tricanorians and the Affiliation. She’s the greatest negotiator and gambler who’s ever lived, has several identities under which she works, is the most brilliant scientist in the Affiliation, and its richest person. There are just way too many times when everyone around her is “amazed” or “astounded by” or “marveled at” something she’s done or is doing. Basically, she’s Guinan from Star Trek: The Next Generation; with her along, why should anyone else be there and why should they do anything. Too many vignettes about how wonderful Jessi is drag out the novel way beyond where it should have ended, and this is where I believe a good editor would have come in most handy. A good editor could have curbed the author’s excesses here and made this a better story all the way around, giving the author more energy and space at the end to give the reader a more satisfying conclusion to what was supposed to be the main story.
When I asked for these works I braced for the worst. They were from unknowns, they were published by a so-called “vanity press”, but I found that, while this book had its problems, it was better than the TNG novel Grounded. Much better, in fact. It says on the back of this book that Ms. Dreyer has begun another novel, and I can honestly say I would give it a try.
Long Journey to Rneadal is available at: www.amazon.com, www.bn.com, www.borders.com
